It's not the real me.

"How could you do this?"

"...He made me, Xander."

"Don't give me that shit! While I'll never forgive you for your actions today...how could you let yourself fall like this? How could you let him manipulate, use, and corrupt you?!"

"Xander, I just told you I didn't have a choice! Bill told me to do something and I did it. He gave me specific instructions to kill you if you followed me. What was I supposed to do?!"

"A simple 'No' would have sufficed!"

"He would have kill me if I refused! I'm a coward you idiot! If it'll kill me I will not do it! If it will save me you can be sure I'll walk back into hell for it! You don't even unde-

"We convinced Boss not to destroy you..."

"What?

"You heard me! If it wasn't for us you wouldn't even exist right now! We save you, and you just...just...just betray us like this?!"

"..."

"Alright kiddies, I think this conversation is over."

And with that, the medic's head exploded. Even with bone shards and grey matter covering me, strangely enough...

I felt nothing at that moment.