The real me
Sometimes, you can't really be yourself.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
Sunday, February 22, 2015
The End of Duality
It's over.
It's finally over for me.
My friends are dead.
My family is dead.
Bill is dead.
An Attendant is injured.
And Veigar is dead.
And now I'm...I don't know where I am...
The Path? Another lair of a fear? Or is it simply somewhere even Veigar didn't know of?
I guess in the end Veigar still won though.
I wouldn't really classify myself as alive anymore...
Guess I'll just go for a walk now.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
It's not the real me.
"How could you do this?"
"...He made me, Xander."
"Don't give me that shit! While I'll never forgive you for your actions today...how could you let yourself fall like this? How could you let him manipulate, use, and corrupt you?!"
"Xander, I just told you I didn't have a choice! Bill told me to do something and I did it. He gave me specific instructions to kill you if you followed me. What was I supposed to do?!"
"A simple 'No' would have sufficed!"
"He would have kill me if I refused! I'm a coward you idiot! If it'll kill me I will not do it! If it will save me you can be sure I'll walk back into hell for it! You don't even unde-
"We convinced Boss not to destroy you..."
"What?
"You heard me! If it wasn't for us you wouldn't even exist right now! We save you, and you just...just...just betray us like this?!"
"..."
"Alright kiddies, I think this conversation is over."
And with that, the medic's head exploded. Even with bone shards and grey matter covering me, strangely enough...
I felt nothing at that moment.
"...He made me, Xander."
"Don't give me that shit! While I'll never forgive you for your actions today...how could you let yourself fall like this? How could you let him manipulate, use, and corrupt you?!"
"Xander, I just told you I didn't have a choice! Bill told me to do something and I did it. He gave me specific instructions to kill you if you followed me. What was I supposed to do?!"
"A simple 'No' would have sufficed!"
"He would have kill me if I refused! I'm a coward you idiot! If it'll kill me I will not do it! If it will save me you can be sure I'll walk back into hell for it! You don't even unde-
"We convinced Boss not to destroy you..."
"What?
"You heard me! If it wasn't for us you wouldn't even exist right now! We save you, and you just...just...just betray us like this?!"
"..."
"Alright kiddies, I think this conversation is over."
And with that, the medic's head exploded. Even with bone shards and grey matter covering me, strangely enough...
I felt nothing at that moment.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
Busy Bee
So much blood on my hands...
But it's always good to get rid of your enemies before they can become one, right? At least that's what He says.
All them deserve it though. Their actions were unforgivable. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed the part where I gutted them and fed the giblets to a pa
Oh my fucking god what did I let Bill talk me into.
But it's always good to get rid of your enemies before they can become one, right? At least that's what He says.
All them deserve it though. Their actions were unforgivable. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed the part where I gutted them and fed the giblets to a pa
Oh my fucking god what did I let Bill talk me into.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
This is bullshit.
So, this is goddamn bullshit.
I'm currently walking through the streets of Moscow, freezing my ass off, cause ya know, I happened to wake up in a tshirt and shorts.
How or why I'm here? No. Fucking. Clue.
Was awake on the 24th, solstice happened, apparently shit went down, and now it's the 28th and I'm in Moscow for christ sakes.
I swear Veigar does this shit on purpose.
It's cold, hard to breath, and people are giving me weird looks for my clothes being stained in blood.
OH YEAH! Forgot to mention. I woke up covered in blood, azoth, and I shit you not, black fire.
The fire went out quickly (don't know how I'm not sporting an infinite number of burns) but I had to get the blood and azoth off of me if I didn't want to have it freeze on me. So I found a water pipe, broke it, and let myself get drenched in freezing water.
I never said I was smart, or competent enough to have more than nonexistent hindsight.
So if any of you see a short, scrawny, wet brown haired adult in a shirt and shorts walking around Moscow cursing in english...
Congratulations, you've met the dumbass known as me.
I'm currently walking through the streets of Moscow, freezing my ass off, cause ya know, I happened to wake up in a tshirt and shorts.
How or why I'm here? No. Fucking. Clue.
Was awake on the 24th, solstice happened, apparently shit went down, and now it's the 28th and I'm in Moscow for christ sakes.
I swear Veigar does this shit on purpose.
It's cold, hard to breath, and people are giving me weird looks for my clothes being stained in blood.
OH YEAH! Forgot to mention. I woke up covered in blood, azoth, and I shit you not, black fire.
The fire went out quickly (don't know how I'm not sporting an infinite number of burns) but I had to get the blood and azoth off of me if I didn't want to have it freeze on me. So I found a water pipe, broke it, and let myself get drenched in freezing water.
I never said I was smart, or competent enough to have more than nonexistent hindsight.
So if any of you see a short, scrawny, wet brown haired adult in a shirt and shorts walking around Moscow cursing in english...
Congratulations, you've met the dumbass known as me.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
These have been some of the worst days of my life.
Really. It's sucked majorly.
For the past few days I've spent them strapped to test table and other science-y stuff while Xerath ran test on my arms and other areas like my head or back.
And, best part of all, Veigar apparently can't take control and is fucking screaming louder than Twitch ever did in my head. He says hi to you all, at least I'm saying it for him. Every time I ask him something he just answers FUCK YOU and starts screaming again.
Veigar and I did have an encounter with Bill though.
After Xerath finished up with me for that day I pulled on a long sleeve shirt and my hoodie then snuck out for a walk. Once I got to the city and started walking on a deserted street, I could here someone skulking behind me. I started running and heard them speed up as well.
But one I ran up a street that lead to a dead end and knew I was trapped, the smug ass voice I hate so much droned behind me.
"Well, if it Isn't little Jeremiah, or do you prefer Jeremy, maybe even JP? I don't care either way."
'What the fuck do you want Bill? I'm not in the mood for you little games. Just let me go back the the bunker and you can pull some schoolyard prank on me another time."
"Oh but JP, I'm done with the harmless pranks. It's time for the real fun to begin."
"Cryptic bullshit? I'm out of here."
I brushed past Bill and was about to turn the corner when he said some that set me off.
"What if the voice in your head tells you to do evil things? Hurt those you love...bring pain and suffering...to kill...would you do them?"
He was instantly pinned to the wall of a brick building. But not by me per say
"IT WAS YOU! YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! GIVE ME ONE GOOD AND I MEAN VERY GOOD REASON I SHOULDN'T FIND A WAY TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Veigars voice was almost demonic. And I could see Azoth flowing out of the sleeve of my arms and crawl slowly up Bill to his face.
And then the Azoth burned off of Bill when he turned pure crimson and smashed Veigar against the ground. Veigar was snarling the whole time while against it.
"Because you CAN'T! You're precious little group has had it far too easy and lucky for far too long! I've started to change that with Twitch's death, the bunker collapsing, and so much more that has been set up for you! I'm going the break every. Single. One of them, right in front of your eyes. And then I'll break you and JP. The tale of Veigar, JP, and The Group...will end. Savvy?"
Then, he left in his black sand.
Veigar let out a roar of anger and punched a hole through the brick wall. He fell to the ground coughing and I had control back.
"What the hell..."
So I got back to base and pulled up my sleeve. The tree bark was mangled and broken from where I assume the Azoth flowed out of it, but it quickly reformed.
I stayed in my room for a bit after that.
See you guys whenever.
Veigar Side Note: FUCK YOU BILL.
He was instantly pinned to the wall of a brick building. But not by me per say
"IT WAS YOU! YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! GIVE ME ONE GOOD AND I MEAN VERY GOOD REASON I SHOULDN'T FIND A WAY TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Veigars voice was almost demonic. And I could see Azoth flowing out of the sleeve of my arms and crawl slowly up Bill to his face.
And then the Azoth burned off of Bill when he turned pure crimson and smashed Veigar against the ground. Veigar was snarling the whole time while against it.
"Because you CAN'T! You're precious little group has had it far too easy and lucky for far too long! I've started to change that with Twitch's death, the bunker collapsing, and so much more that has been set up for you! I'm going the break every. Single. One of them, right in front of your eyes. And then I'll break you and JP. The tale of Veigar, JP, and The Group...will end. Savvy?"
Then, he left in his black sand.
Veigar let out a roar of anger and punched a hole through the brick wall. He fell to the ground coughing and I had control back.
"What the hell..."
So I got back to base and pulled up my sleeve. The tree bark was mangled and broken from where I assume the Azoth flowed out of it, but it quickly reformed.
I stayed in my room for a bit after that.
See you guys whenever.
Veigar Side Note: FUCK YOU BILL.
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